• Crystal

Tropical Green Smoothie

Bring on the summer days & island vacays! Oh wait, it's not even March yet :S A girl can dream right? On the bright side, things are finally starting to warm up over here in Montreal. And this season of The Bachelor is almost over. Thank goodness for both, because I'm ready to be On. To. The. Next.

The Bachelor is my weekly obsession these days, not so much because this season has been great (because it DEFINITELY has left something to be desired), but more so from an obsessive need to continue with a show that I've always watched. You've got one of those right? We all need some shameless, mind-numbing entertainment right? Yup.


Women Tell All. Overnight dates. Probably my fave episodes, next to the first and the finale of course. Let's start with WTA.


So much drama! But not even really. First up was Marikh trying to explain how she was "glam-shamed" by Chelsea during the hiking group date (is that really a thing? nope, I didn't think so). Chelsea simply recapped their group hike, where in the middle of snowing and being lost in the wilderness, Marikh pulls out a compact mirror to check how she looked. Arie and Chelsea had a little innocent chuckle, then Arie tried to have an innocent chuckle with Marikh later that night. Marikh was truly offended by said innocent chuckle. Basically, this is a pretty girl complaining that people don't like her because she's too pretty. Come on girl! Next!


The Tia and Bekah hash it out over the awkward 3-on-1 date, where Tia throws Bekah under the bus when she tells Arie that she doesn't feel Bekah is ready for marriage because she's only 22. Some serious ageism happening over here, even though other women were 23, 24 and 25. I feel for Bekah, I really do. Even though I didn't think there was any chance of that relationship realistically working out. Tia holds firm that she did it because it felt right in her heart. Still a bitchy move, girl, still a very bitchy move.


Then it's Krystal's turn in the hot seat. Apparently she had lost her voice for the entire 7 weeks she was on the show, giving her that sultry baby voice everyone had grown to hate. But the real hilarity came to the bowling date recap when enraged Krystal had bleeped something about Arie, which after some researching, I learned she had called him "Needle Dick", which created shock and appall in the audience. Amazing! She then proceeds to continue defending her behavior on the show, saying the women mocked her. Am I in high school again? Her segment finishes with her telling everyone that her homeless brother is now off the streets and her family is close again. I see you Krystal, playing that empathy card. Clever.


Seinne gets about 5 minutes in the chair, but while we all empathize with her and it seems she may have Bachelorette possibilities, they quickly move on to Bekah in the hot seat. They discuss the age thing again (all right already!), and then Chris Harrison brings up that she was a missing person!? Apparently Bekah had gone up north to camp & smoke pot with friends for a few weeks, it was super remote and she forgot to mention this to her mom, who after not hearing from Bekah put in a missing persons report. That right there tells you that Bekah is 22. The older we are, the less we need to check in with the parental units. Poor Bekah.


Tia's turn on the couch, and she gets to confront Arie. She can't understand why after telling Arie that she was in love with him, that she was a sure thing, he goes and picks Quirky Kendall who had no certainty about their future. Arie offers no comforting answer. No surprises there.


Then comes the weirdest thing ever. Caroline (?) decides to call Arie out for some yet-unaired indiscretion. She tells him, “You’re here trying to find a wife. I know what you did. I don’t know how you could do that and I really don’t understand, but I really hope you find what you’re looking for.” This is the only part of the episode that had any cliff-hanging, shock value. What could she mean? And how does Clarice (Who again?), have any of this info? We'll have to wait and see how that one plays out.


The last hot-seat interaction is when Krystal invites herself on the couch to clear the air with Arie and their cold departure. His answer of "It was pretty appropriate" made me chuckle. It was probably the funniest thing to come out of Arie's mouth.


Then Chris announces it's "the moment we've all been waiting for: the bloopers!" Yes, I love bloopers. But pretty much all of the bloopers were watching Arie bugger up his words and say "Mer!" Dear lord, come on! For the record, that was not the moment I've been waiting for. Le sigh!


Ok, I've got to recover a bit from the 90minutes of my life I will never get back in before I get talking about the overnights. I'll save that episode recap for another post. Let's recover with a hydrating delicious taste of the island tropics smoothie, shall we?



Tropical Green Smoothie

Prep Time: 5 mins | Cook Time: N/A | Total Time: 5 min | Yield: 1 serving


Ingredients:

  • 250ml coconut water

  • 1/2 cup pineapple chunks

  • 1/2 cup mango chunks

  • 1 kiwi

  • 1 handful baby spinach (or other greens)

  • 1 scoop protein powder (I use a vanilla-flavored whey protein)

  • 1 teaspoon shredded, unsweetened coconut flakes, as garnish (cuz why not get fancy?)

  • Ice, to desired consistency

Instructions:

1. In a high-speed blender, add coconut water first, then the remaining ingredients. Blend on high & enjoy!



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