Well hey there, I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!
If you've been following my journey here on the blog and on socials, you'll know that back in May I decided that I needed a break. A break from a lot of the business (and busi-ness) I was doing, and more importantly, a break from social media. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE socials and making content for you, but I also recognized that I wasn't feeling or being the best version of myself the last few months.
I've NEVER really taken any solid time away from socials since I started my business years and years ago, and especially since fall of 2020 when I really became consistent with my content and started to build momentum with my group program and 1:1 coaching. So this was unchartered waters and VERY nerve-wrecking for me.
As a solopreneur, not having a team to pick up the slack when you step away was a big reason I felt nervous. Would my business crumble? Would people unfollow me and leave?
Would I lose whatever momentum I've gained?
All these fears and more crept into my brain as I wondered if I should do this....BUT a wiser, inner part of me, an inner-knowing, also spoke up and said: it was time. It was time because I needed to look after myself better. I needed to really pause and evaluate how I was living my life, and decide what's really important moving forward for my personal life and business.
And not just for lip service. Not to just say something is important, but to then ACT in a way that's in alignment with those beliefs and feelings.
I came to the conclusion of the social media detox because I also started to recognize some signs that it was time. And I'll share them with you because maybe you've also started to see these in yourself and might be wondering if a detox would be a good choice.
1) I WAS MULTITASKING AND GETTING FRUSTRATED
I always thought that multi-tasking was such a great skill to have. You could do multiple things at once, and get "more" done in a day. But as I've gotten older I've realized it's actually one of THE most inefficient ways to do things.
Your focus is diluted, and you don't give the task at hand the attention and energy it deserves or requires. And it ends up taking longer to get the job done.
The more I tried to multitask and do work while looking after the kids, the more frustrated I became that things were just not getting done (either around the house, or within my business). I had gotten into this habit and it didn't feel good anymore. When I was half-assing as a mom, I felt guilty. And when I was half-assing in the business content, it also felt awful. I knew I needed to do better at separating the tasks and giving ONE thing my full attention when doing it.
2) I WAS DOCUMENTING AND NOT REALLY PRESENT
This is an extension of (1), but I really noticed that being behind the lens of the camera/phone didn't feel good a lot of the times. Instead of being fully immersed in the experience, there was always this filter of the phone being between me and the moment. And yes, sometimes capturing moments feels good. But for me, with the intention of capturing for the sake of content, it felt like it had gotten out of hand. And I was craving more REAL LIFE PRESENT MOMENTS!
3) I WAS TETHERED TO THE PHONE
This is sooo sad to admit, but I can't even count the number of times Aiden, my 6-year old, would say: "Mommy, get off your phone! Get off social media!" To which I would either feel embarassed or totally defensive, justifying my time spent on the phone as "work for the business". And even if it was, the message was so freakin clear: my kid wants my UN-divided attention right now. #momfail #momguilgalore
Even though I know it's not possible to give my kids my full attention at all times, I knew that this needed to change, and I needed better boundaries when I was on my phone and when I was off.
4) I WAS CAUGHT IN THE COMPARISON TRAP
I almost forgot to mention this one, but I found myself feeling bad, feeling like I wasn't doing enough, or being enough, because I was looking at what other people/businesses were doing on socials. And this didn't feel good.
I think this is all too common, but if you find that what you're consuming isn't helping to uplift you or inspire you, or you're constantly comparing yourself, then it's a good idea to remove/block/delete, be intentional with what you consume, or maybe it's time to take a break from certain apps and explore what's going on inside.
5) I WAS FEELING TOTALLY BURNT OUT
Like I said earlier, I LOVE socials. I love connecting with you. I love sharing content. I love sharing my life with you....but, the season that I was finding myself in felt like I was just doing waaaay too much. Looking after a new baby, taking care of the family, keeping the house in order, maintaining relationships, looking after myself.....was SO much energy!
And at the end of the day, I felt so depleted, leaving very little left for me and the people around me, ie my family.
The thing is, I had been burning the candle at both ends for soooo long, and it was finally catching up to me. Don't get me wrong, I love the work. And I don't mind working hard for something. But at a certain point, you gotta ask yourself:
Is all this worth what it's costing me?
And for me, the answer was "Not anymore!" Things needed to change, or I knew that sooner rather than later I would start paying a bigger price for the pace I was running at.
SOOOO, taking the break was much needed.
And there were a few lessons I learned in this 7-week hiatus that have impacted me in a big way:
LESSON #1: The Art of Letting Go
This did NOT come easily at first. The first few days I found myself continually looking at my phone, despite moving socials to the background (didn't fully delete). But then I found myself checking email more, so I moved that too. I also just finished the last round of The FitMama Method, and even paused things with my 1:1 clients.....so things got very quiet lol
I felt like I let go of all the "need"-to-do tasks, which I realized were just constructs in my head. They were just these expectations I placed on myself, because "that's what other business owners do" AND because it was the pace I was used to from the years before. The comparison trap was high, and I almost didn't even see it.
Even as the break continued, I found myself getting to a place of "I should go back on this date", and after listening to a few inspiring podcasts I realized, NO, I didn't have to do anything, or go back at a certain time. I felt this way several times in this process, and had to coach myself to be able to let go of that feeling/need.
I also had to let go of what this time during my maternity leave looked like. I had it in my head that I would be able to do "a, b, c" while on mat leave and that's just not how it realistically turned out. I think I finally let go of what I thought it "would/should" look, and accepted that this is where I'm at.
This is what this season of my life looks like, and what's needed for right now. It doesn't mean it will always be this way, but I realized that what I wanted more than anything was to look back at my time with Damian at home and actually enjoy it.
So that meant doing less in my business and even around the house during the day. It meant MANY things taking longer to get done or fully being dropped, and being ok with it. And that was REALLY hard to accept at first. But it got easier as I kept reminding myself of these important facts,
LESSON #2: Be FULLY Present
As the phone became quiet and I started to come off the high from DMs, notifications, and pings, I found myself feeling more relaxed. I found myself enjoying my time at home with Damian. I had energy and curiosity for the play with Aiden. I felt more relaxed around Ty. I found myself fully present in simple moments in my day. And it felt FREEING.
It felt great to have less to do. And the commentary from Aiden about being on my phone, became less and less. I feel like moving the apps and email to the background, as well as having scheduled summaries and times the app is able to be accessed, have been HUGE for me.
They've allowed me to focus more on what's in front of me, without getting that dopamine rush from the phone buzzing and pinging. I HIGHLY recommend you look at the settings on your phone and try this! It's something that I still have in place now after the detox because I found it so helpful in keeping a healthier boundary with my phone.
LESSON #3: Tune out to Tune INWARD
Unplugging during this time really allowed me to hear my own inner voice. Some big transitions were coming in the pipeline and I knew I needed to sit with my own thoughts and feeling about these things.
And once I did, I feel like I finally heard what was there all along. I knew what I wanted to do, and I knew what I wanted things to look like moving forward, both in my personal life and in my business. And with the final step of chatting with my intuitive friend Chelsea this week (a blog post for another day!) I FINALLY feel fully confident, certain, and good about these decisions moving forward.
So what are some of these decisions moving forward?
Well for starters, we found the most AMAZING home daycare for Damian, who will be starting in September. The moment I walked through Ruffina's door, I knew this was the best place for D. The kids at her daycare were so enamoured with him, they made us feel so welcome, and Ruffina's attention to the kids (and even the attention to detail and cleanliness of her home), showed me how much she cares about the kids she looks after. So HUGE relief there!
The other big decision I've made, is to extend my mat leave until next year....and embrace my entrepreneurial life. I've always worked my business in the early hours of the day, or in the late nights, and every nook and cranny in between. I've hustled really hard for a long time. I did what most entrepreneurs do to make it work around the 9-5 job and family life.
But I have this rare opportunity to give this a shot and see where it goes. And I know 100% that if I didn't just go for it now, that I would fully regret it down the road. So the choice was obvious.
With this new schedule, I'll be able to focus on my business during the day, be fully present with my family when I pick them up after daycare/school, and have time and energy for myself and my hubby in the evenings. I'm designing my day EXACTLY how I want it to look. And that freedom is absolutely priceless.
So....I am SOOO excited for what this fall will bring!!!!
While I don't have all the details mapped out on what my days will look like, I do know some of the projects and places I want to spend my time and energy:
1:1 coaching - I CAN NOT wait to work closely with more women who are looking to transform their health and habits so they can look and feel their best! And if that's something you've been thinking about, then I'd love to chat with you! Book in for a FREE 20-min Zoom consult and let's see if this would be the right fit for you!
The FitMama Method - I'll be launching the next round in September, so stay tuned for dates and when to join us!
Food Freedom Meal Plans - It's taking ages to get this digital product on my website, but soon you'll be able to get these 12 weekly meal plans at your finger tips to help ease meal planning, eat more balanced meals, and feel energized in your body!
There's more in the works and what I've been brainstorming, and I'll keep you in the loop as more details unfold in the fall.
But if you've been here with me along this journey, or if you've taken the time to read through this far, thank you. Seriously thank you, because without you my small business wouldn't exist. I only hope that I can continue to evolve, grow, and serve you in a way that inspires you to live your healthiest, fittest, and most energized life!
And before I go, here's a little photo dump of what we were up to during the social media detox:
Damian's first swim experience! Summer days at the splash pad
Damian finally gets his helmet! My bestie from the UK gets married :D
Celebrating Father's Day by the water Holiday in Ontario (after Covid quarantine 🤪)
Spending time with family we haven't seen in a loooong time
Celebrating my niece's 3rd birthday and hanging with our fave people
Until next time,
-Coach Crystal xo